2019 - JOKES

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Jack Welles
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by Jack Welles » Fri Jun 07, 2019 3:39 pm

Takeaways.jpg
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Jack Welles (thriller_author pen name)
https://www.amazon.com/Jack-Welles/e/B073VJQTTX
Eddie Haynes-Smart
Textbook - "The Lore of Negotiation"
http://www.loreofnegotiation.com
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by Tomcat1 » Sat Jun 08, 2019 6:49 am

:smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by AnAV8R » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:15 pm

Jack Welles wrote:
Fri Jun 07, 2019 3:39 pm
Takeaways.jpg
And don't forget the seasoning.... 8-[
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Jack Welles
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by Jack Welles » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:19 pm

Door.jpg
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Jack Welles (thriller_author pen name)
https://www.amazon.com/Jack-Welles/e/B073VJQTTX
Eddie Haynes-Smart
Textbook - "The Lore of Negotiation"
http://www.loreofnegotiation.com
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by MadMacs » Tue Jun 11, 2019 3:35 pm

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the drunk said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
I'm not old, I'm 18 with 46 years of experience :D
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by SlowApproach » Tue Jun 11, 2019 6:53 pm

A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a cough syrup.

Three days later the patient comes for a follow-up check and the doctor asks: "Well? Are you still coughing?"

The patient replies: "No. I’m afraid to."
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by Ugly Duckling » Sun Jun 16, 2019 8:35 am

These users liked the author Ugly Duckling for the post:
Tony Forrester
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by MadMacs » Sun Jun 16, 2019 7:39 pm

The father and son are involved in a plane crash and both were rushed to the ER of the hospital.
Later the son was rushed to the theater for an emergency operation.
The surgeon looked at the patient and said:
"I can't operate on this man...its my son".

!!
I'm not old, I'm 18 with 46 years of experience :D
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by SlowApproach » Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:08 pm

It is said that if you lose one sense, your other senses become enhanced.

This is why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.

8-[ :lol:
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Jack Welles
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by Jack Welles » Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:19 am

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Jack Welles (thriller_author pen name)
https://www.amazon.com/Jack-Welles/e/B073VJQTTX
Eddie Haynes-Smart
Textbook - "The Lore of Negotiation"
http://www.loreofnegotiation.com
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by SlowApproach » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:58 pm

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Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by MadMacs » Fri Jun 28, 2019 9:31 am

MadMacs wrote:
Sun Jun 16, 2019 7:39 pm
The father and son are involved in a plane crash and both were rushed to the ER of the hospital.
Later the son was rushed to the theater for an emergency operation.
The surgeon looked at the patient and said:
"I can't operate on this man...its my son".

!!
No takers? The surgeon was his mother.
I'm not old, I'm 18 with 46 years of experience :D
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richard C
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by richard C » Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:50 am

MadMacs wrote:
Fri Jun 28, 2019 9:31 am
MadMacs wrote:
Sun Jun 16, 2019 7:39 pm
The father and son are involved in a plane crash and both were rushed to the ER of the hospital.
Later the son was rushed to the theater for an emergency operation.
The surgeon looked at the patient and said:
"I can't operate on this man...its my son".

!!
No takers? The surgeon was his mother.
insert *facepalm* emoji here. Ingrained chauvenism is to blame.
Grant all equity and dignity.
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by Ugly Duckling » Sat Jun 29, 2019 7:27 am

How to explain about pregnancy to a child of the 21st century, when bees, flowers, seeds, stork are out of fashion?

Today, the explanation is modern....

The son asks his father:
- Dad, how was I born?
- Well, my son, one day we knew we would talk about it, so I'll explain what you need to know:
One day, Mom and Dad connected to facebook and became friends. Dad sent a tweet inviting Mom to go to a cybercafé. We found that we had many links and likes in common and we understood each other very well.
When we were not on the laptop, we would talk on Whats App and Skype.
And we were giving more likes, until one day we decided to share our files.
Dad introduced his USB stick to Mom's USB port. When the files were downloaded, we realized that we had forgotten the security software and that we had no firewall or snapshot filter.
It was too late to cancel the download and it was impossible to delete the files, generating the message "INSTALLATION SUCCESSFUL".
With this the monthly notifications of your mother stopped arriving and nine months later you appeared as new user contact, requesting login and password.

Well, how is this for a change ..........
😉😂😬
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Re: 2019 - JOKES

Unread post by C Africa » Sat Jun 29, 2019 8:15 am

And then the kid says, wow dad, the kid next door says he was born in a hospital!!!


C

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