Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

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Brand
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by Brand » Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:28 pm

And some more “pearls” from recent efforts:

From a helicopter PPL, gunning for the CPL Navigation exam after 6 weeks study:
Student: “Sir, if they give me those funny degrees and things in a question, how do I find it on a map?”

Me: “So, if you fly for 2 hours at 100 Knots – how far have you flown?”
Student: “I did not bring a calculator….”

Me – (now rather suspicious): “How many 20’s are there in 200?”
Student: “Uhmmmmm…….” Followed by a long silence….

Me again: “How many 20’s are there in 100?”
Student: Only a frown and another long puzzling silence…..

There was plenty more, but all I can say is that it was a looong session….
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by Brand » Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:29 pm

Another from a fixed wing PPL - planning on becoming an ATPL by end of next year. His 18 months are expiring in 3 days and he has to pass only Meteorology (after failing it 3 times) – or lose all his subjects. So I thought I would ask a few questions to check how sharp he is:

Me: “Where do you find the infamous South Easter in South Africa?”
Answer: “In Durban?”

Me: “What is Buys Ballot Law?”
Answer: “Who?”

Me: “At what level would you typically find cirrus clouds?”
Answer: “Low level?”

Me: “What is convection?”
Answer: “Aah yes – I know this one! It’s when solid changes directly to gas….”

And a little later he tells me that he soon wants to do his MBA – it took all my resolve not to smile.
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by ddevos » Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:46 pm

How on earth did that heli PPL even get a license in the first place!!!
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by jimdavis » Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:52 pm

Brand, you have the patience of Job. I would have killed someone by now :smt096 :smt096 :D

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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by Brand » Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:12 pm

jimdavis wrote:Brand, you have the patience of Job. I would have killed someone by now :smt096 :smt096 :D

Jim
Hi Jim - believe me, the thought has crossed my mind a few times.... :wink:

The irony is that, those who know me well, will tell you that I have no patience.... :twisted: In reality I have a lot of patience with anybody that is working hard and trying, even when they find it tough. But the lazy, smart, bad attitude types that I sometimes meet, get on my wrong side very quickly. I am ashamed to admit that I once told a student to "exit" my house before he even sat down (less said the better) - and when he took his time, I chased him out with a cricket bat..... :lol: :lol:
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by wynand » Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:44 pm

Hey Brand
Good for you!

I am also lazy, I think I'm smart and I have an attitude.
And I have a gun.

But don't worry, I'm not enrolling anytime soon.
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by richard C » Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:06 am

wynand wrote:Hey Brand
Good for you!

I am also lazy, I think I'm smart and I have an attitude.
And I have a gun.

But don't worry, I'm not enrolling anytime soon.
Actually, I think that describes most of us !!! I don't have a gun though. Luckily my wit is as sharp as a marble.
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by Marius Schrenk » Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:28 am

richard C wrote:
wynand wrote:Hey Brand
Good for you!

I am also lazy, I think I'm smart and I have an attitude.
And I have a gun.

But don't worry, I'm not enrolling anytime soon.
Actually, I think that describes most of us !!! I don't have a gun though. Luckily my wit is as sharp as a marble.
On a regular basis you are out done by a certain Toyota loving heli pilot though. :roll:
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by cage » Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:53 am

richard C wrote:
wynand wrote:Hey Brand
Good for you!

I am also lazy, I think I'm smart and I have an attitude.
And I have a gun.

But don't worry, I'm not enrolling anytime soon.
Actually, I think that describes most of us !!! I don't have a gun though. Luckily my wit is as sharp as a marble.
You think you have wit but you're only half right... :lol:
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by Brand » Mon Mar 11, 2019 3:55 pm

I have a few new pearls to add....

Recently heard from a fixed wing PPL gunning for his CPL - struggling a bit with the English required (he is from the farm - a very far away farm... :twisted:: "Sir - what is all this lubrication systems they talk about in ATG?" So I gave it my best shot - after which he replied with: "Aah! It's like KY jelly for engines!"

When I asked a CPL(H) student how does a magneto work (after failing the HTG exam).... Answer: "Sir, it attracts opposites and rejects similar..." So when I suggested that as a PPL, it is considered prudent to know how these things (including a magneto) work, I got this beauty: "I just push the buttons and fly - if something breaks, I call my dad..."

From an recent ATPL student on passing the ATPL Meteorology exam after a few attempts: "That blerrie exam is tuff! It takes a bit more than just Questionbank..."
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by Multirotordronepilot » Mon Mar 11, 2019 4:20 pm

My recent 5 best laughable moments.

1. Student telling tower " read back correct " try holding a straight face when that happens
2. Student tells me I am wrong and QNH is given in feet AMSL and has always been the same, never changes.
3. Student says NOSIG in a Metar means that the zone is declared as NOSIG meaning only no smoking flights are allowed.
4. Student says when discussing cloud characteristics that those apply to a " cunnilingus cloud "
5. Is the cutest, during a MET recap when looking at visibility the student says " I think I'm going to Fog this exam up " and he passed :0

Oh the joy's :lol:
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by Brand » Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:22 pm

A recent few, from the same student: 220 hour PPL gunning for his CPL by year-end.

Me(on Nav): You need to be sharp with plotting, as the CPL exam is heavily loaded percentage wise.
Answer: What is plotting?

Me: So, what is your plans with your CPL?
Answer: I want to buy a Lear 45 and make it work - I think they cost about five million Rand....

Me (on Flight Planning) - how do you determine the rear CofG limit of your aircraft? (He owns one)
Answer: Well, recently my son and I had to lean forward while taxying - that kept the tail from hitting the runway... I must admit, after take-off the control column felt rather "sloppy"...

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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by jimdavis » Thu Nov 14, 2019 1:31 pm

Brand wrote:
Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:22 pm
A recent few, from the same student: 220 hour PPL gunning for his CPL by year-end.

Me(on Nav): You need to be sharp with plotting, as the CPL exam is heavily loaded percentage wise.
Answer: What is plotting?

Me: So, what is your plans with your CPL?
Answer: I want to buy a Lear 45 and make it work - I think they cost about five million Rand....

Me (on Flight Planning) - how do you determine the rear CofG limit of your aircraft? (He owns one)
Answer: Well, recently my son and I had to lean forward while taxying - that kept the tail from hitting the runway... I must admit, after take-off the control column felt rather "sloppy"...

Ja boet.
:shock: :shock: :shock: Brand, my mate, you need to change the title of this thread from Amusing Ground School "Mishaps" To "HORRIFYING...."

I wonder if the guy with the aft CofG - presumably in a Bonnie - knew how close they came to killing all on board.

Scary monsters, Brand 8-[ 8-[ 8-[

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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by southside » Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:13 pm

Perhaps if CAA changed there approach from one of trying to catch people out with wording or miniscule differences in answers to one of a knowledge based approach where you are forced to open a book, have these question bank's done away with...maybe people will actually learn something after having finished there exams.

I have chatted to numerous pilots who have passed all of there exams on first attempt using question bank materials...but get snookered when you ask them to explain something. These people will come up short when sitting in a technical interview with an airline.

There are so many aspects out there, and we can't be expected to remember it all. But you need to at a minimum know the basics. Doing questions and answers and not studying a book does a massive disservice to the industry.

I cringe at some of the things that Brand posts.
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Re: Amusing Ground School "Mishaps"....

Unread post by homebuilt » Thu Nov 14, 2019 4:31 pm

And that is why outcomes based education, as taught in this country for the last 20 years or so, has been such a disaster. How will one ever recover to the level we were at before this rubbish was taught. I don't think we ever will.

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